You Never Asked
by Victoria LeRoux
Summary: He never imagined that Riza could be afraid of something as unoriginal as a spider.


_Title: You Never Asked_

_Pairing: Minor Royai_

_Dedication: FREALTA, for getting me to actually sit down and write this_

_Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a magical mirror that answered every question you answered it. One day, a crazy fangirl stood in front of the mirror and said, "Mirror, who is the owner of the fairest manga in the land." And the mirror told her, "Not you!" and she was sad, so she broke the mirror. End of story._

_Length: apx. 1,200 Words_

_A/N: Shockingly, people actually talk in this one shot. All my others (except for Tissues, Drunks and Hercules) don't have ANY conversation in them._

_Unedited_

_Please review. ._

**You Never Asked**

It had been another day at the office, despite the fearful looks Riza kept glancing at the wall, as though she thought something was about to jump at her. She obviously was afraid of the homunculi, or so Roy Mustang thought. What else would, or _could_ she be afraid of? Scar had vanished, Ed was safe in Risenbol, and anyone else who mattered to them was out of the way.

Unless… Was she thinking of Ishbal again?

Havoc stomped out of the office, throwing a stack of paperwork in the trash as he walked out. Fuery and Falman followed after, watching Riza scowl at the wall. They didn't want to be nearby when the explosion occurred, so as soon as work hours were over, they vanished.

Riza and Roy could hear Havoc remark archly as he walked out, "Wonder who'll survive the night?"

"Havoc!" the Colonel barked, but his subordinates were already out the door, fleeing into the streets where they couldn't be chased down by their Colonel.

Colonel Mustang folded his hands in front of him, leaning his head on them as he watched her discreetly. Riza stood up quickly, scampering out of the office with a stack of papers in her hand. Roy watched her flee, shaking his head at the sudden out-of-characters actions.

He never had seen her truly, well, _terrified_ of anything.

However, she was definitely afraid of whatever was on her mind. She was glancing fugitively at the wall, her eyes brightening as they tracked some invisible movement. Roy had seen her twitching every once in a while, but he wasn't sure exactly what was causing the sudden movements. The alchemist's brow furrowed slightly as she returned and moved her seat further away from the wall.

Roy bit his lip, wondering if she was worried about some kind of date. As if Riza had heard his thought, her eyes snapped over to where Roy sat, his eyes watching her every motion.

She squeaked as she looked at the wall behind him, and Roy entertained the brief thought that someone has drugged her. However, she seemed to be fine, so he dismissed the thought. He grew distracted as Riza left the room and returned soon, gun in hand.

Roy shot up as she pointed it at him. "Riza, what?" he asked, yelping as he realized someone might have drugged her after all.

"Sir, don't move," she said in a perfectly calm voice, and Roy froze as she adjusted her aim. "This will only take a second or two," she muttered grimly, "Then the problem will be over."

Roy raised his hands defensively. "Riza, I did _not_ give Havoc pictures of you naked! I swear that was just a rumor! And I'm sorry for telling Hughes that we slept together! I promise never to tell Ed how perfect your ass is either! Just don't shoot- you're going to regret it if you do. I promise never to do anything like that ever again, or to have fantasies about-" he realized he was babbling, and that it was having no effect on his steely-eyed subordinate.

He knew he was only going to have a split second to duck when she _did_ shoot and he froze, watching her pull the trigger.

He ducked, and knew that he was going to have a hard time explaining this to the accounting department. She fired a few more times, and he heard her mutter a quiet, "I missed," and he flinched, wondering if she was actually trying to kill him.

"Riza," Roy stood up, ruffling his hair as he watched her reload. She blinked, watching him and Roy wondered why she looked so stricken.

"Sir, _don't move_," she advised deadly curious, picking up a large book. It was titled the _Art of Delicacy_ and Roy briefly wondered why Fuery had left it on his desk. Roy Mustang wasn't expecting the blow, so he couldn't duck in time as his lieutenant advanced on him.

_Whack!_

"Riza!" Roy yelped as the book connected with his forehead with a thud, sending him staggering back against the desk. "Damn it, stop trying to kill me!"

"I'm sorry sir, but I missed!" Roy blinked as he realized her voice was at a higher pitch then he had heard it before.

"Missed what?" he asked slowly, watching her jump back.

"The spider!" she yelped, and Roy couldn't help it.

"_That's_ what you've been nervous about all day?" he asked, gasping for breath between words. "A spider?"

He turned to see the innocent looking daddy long legs sitting on its web. He leaned forward, staring at the arachnid. "This, this…. _Tiny¸_ perfectly _harmless_ insect?"

"Kill it, sir!" she ordered and Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Has it hurt you?" he asked wryly.

"No sir," she said, but kept her eyes on the spider.

"Could it hurt you?" he asked evenly.

"No sir," she muttered again.

Roy reached out a finger and the spider walked onto his hand. He turned around and watched her take a nervous step back. "Why do you hate them?" he asked, watching the creature walk over his palm.

She muttered out a short phrase that sounded like, "Too many damn eyes, Colonel."

He couldn't help it. He burst into laughter again, and the spider leapt off his gloves, dropping onto the floor.

"Alright, I'll kill it," he said, even as he enjoyed watching her squirm. He pulled out one of his gloves from his desk and snapped his fingers. The tiny spider went up in smoke, and Riza visibly relaxed, returning to her desk and beginning to resume filling out paperwork.

"Riza, why didn't you tell me that you were afraid of spiders?" Roy asked some time later, and the woman looked at him in surprise.

"Sir, you never asked," her bemused tone made it clear that she didn't understand why she would have told him beforehand.

"The Hawk's Eye, afraid of a tiny spider," Roy chortled, and noticed her narrow her eyes. He looked away nonchalantly, as though he hadn't realized that was getting close to sending a bullet through his head. Every few minutes, he would give out a chuckle.

As the two of them prepared to depart from the office, Riza turned to Roy. Roy glanced at her forced smile, and he knew warning signs were going off in his head.

"Sir, did you really tell Hughes we slept together? And why would you talk about me like that to a teenage boy?" she asked quietly, a dangerous edge to her voice.

"See you tomorrow, Lieutenant!" Roy yelped, dashing the other way down the street.

Riza sighed and shook her head, realizing it was just another day at the office.


End file.
